


Error: Pain Overload

by MamaCesa



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Romance, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24104722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaCesa/pseuds/MamaCesa
Summary: After Logan finally confesses his feelings for his best friend, Virgil runs away.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 96





	Error: Pain Overload

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: crying, implied self harm, panic attack

Logan stared at the room around him. It was still his living room. Everything was immaculate. It looked the same as it had before this started, but the sun had long since set so it was dark. It was an echo. It was the inside of a shell. It was a distorted vision of what the morning was. 

_Morning- sunrise, beginning. Feeling: Pain. Continue thought? No_

Logan clutched his hair tightly. He wasn’t pulling it out, he was too still for that, but one small tap on his shoulder would end with him pulling chunks out. He tried to focus on his breathing. Just like he had done for Virgil many times. 

_Virgil- Friend, crush. Feeling: Pain. Continue thought? No_

He heard the buzzing of his ceiling fan above him. It was on the slow cycle. The sound of the soft _whoosh...whoosh...whoosh_ covered Logan with a false sense of reality. He _wasn’t_ stuck in his own head. He could hear the world turning underneath him. He could hear the cars occasionally drive by the front of his house. 

_Car-transportation, leaving. Feeling: Pain. Continue thought? No_

His living room smelt of dust. He had been sitting so still for hours, frozen in the singular moment, that the smell was thick. He would have sneezed if not for the fact that movement would make things real. He could smell the faintest hint of a barbecue coming from his open kitchen window. It was probably a coal fire, from the potency and lack of flavor. 

_Coal-fire, black. Feeling: Pain. Continue thought? No_

The only taste in his mouth was the taste of a dry tongue with the faintest hint of blood. He had been biting his cheek too hard that the salty taste had at first flooded his mouth. However it had been hours. The only taste he had left was a mere whisper. 

_Whisper-soft, talking. Feeling: Pain. Continue thought? No_

**_Error. Pain Overload. Releasing Feeling._ **

Logan’s eyes finally caught up with the reality around him. He could see the empty space in front of him that was just occupied by Virgil that morning. He could see the empty mugs sitting on the kitchen counter by the sink. He could see the silhouette of his best friend’s form where it was supposed to be-sitting on the top of the couch, facing the television. The darkness in the room was a reflection of the darkness in his mind. He could see his phone on the floor between his feet. The screen lit up.

Logan’s body finally caught up with the reality around him. The reality was that he felt like he was having a form of anxiety attack. He felt like pulling his hair out and clawing at his scalp. He started rocking back and forth as the floor beneath him creaked from the shifting movements. He gripped his forearms so tight they stung from the sharpness of his fingernails as he tried to hug himself. His chest constricted with the harsher breaths. His warm cheeks were wet from tears. 

Logan’s ears finally caught up with the reality around him. He could hear the breeze from outside flowing through the kitchen window. He could hear people in his neighbor’s yard mindlessly chattering on in their party. He could hear the whistle of the wind chimes Virgil put up coming from the porch. He could hear his phone buzzing on the ground. He heard the small melody of _The Middle by Jimmy Eat World_. 

Logan’s nose finally caught up with the reality around him. Logan could barely smell anything. His airways were blocked by the buildup of mucus from his crying. If Virgil had been there, he would probably clearly smell the dinner being made in the oven. He could smell the heat coming off of his skin as he wiped his face with his hands. 

Logan’s mouth finally caught up with the reality around him. 

\------

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the phone receiver. His nose ached from the mucus blockages. His voice came out warped because of the snot. It was too thick. 

“No, Logan, I’m sorry.” Virgil’s voice came out of the speaker. His soft-yet-gruff voice was muffled by the barrier of the phone. “Can I come over? To talk?” 

Logan had to hold back from screaming his answer. “Yes,” he whispered, “That would be most preferable.”

\------

Virgil opened the front door to see Logan sitting on the floor. His back was against the wall in the hallway between the living room and kitchen. He looked like he had been sitting there all day. He may have, given that the lights weren’t on. 

\------

The first thing that Virgil did was turn the hallway light on. The crumpled man on the floor flinched in the sudden brightness. He slowly looked up at Virgil standing over him. 

The second thing that Virgil did was drop to his knees to be eye level with Logan. He brought himself close to his best friend. Logan’s eyes were wide. He looked like he saw a ghost when they locked eyes. He gulped, and tears flowed down his face once more. 

The third thing that Virgil did was place his hand on Logan’s knee. He circled his thumb over and over the spot his fingers rested. It was the same thing that Logan had done for him many times. It was odd to be doing it for someone else, but he saw that it was starting to work. The corner of Logan’s lips turned upwards. 

The fourth thing that Virgil did was apologize. “I’m sorry…” he choked out. His eyes let the tears flow out without his permission. He positioned himself to lean on Logan’s shoulder. It was slightly uncomfortable because Logan was crying too. They both leaned on one another as they shared in their sadness. Virgil’s eyes closed as the painful waves of regret washed over him for leaving when Logan admitted his feelings. 

The fifth thing that Virgil did was look at Logan. He observed the damage he had left in his leaving. There were bright red nail marks on his friend’s forearms. His face was pale in the lighting, which nearly hid the tears glittering on his cheeks. His hair was rumbled from the fingers that were held there for hours. Virgil saw the pain that he had put Logan through was immense. He was glad that he was brave enough to come back and confess his own feelings. Virgil being a coward and staying away might have destroyed Logan completely. 

The last thing Virgil did was kiss. He kissed Logan’s shoulder, where he rested his head. He took both of Logan’s hands and kissed the tops of them over each knuckle one by one. He kissed at each little nail imprint as the redness faded away. He slowly leaned in to kiss Logan’s cheeks, and continued when Logan didn’t stop him. He kissed the tear streaks on Logan’s face, feeling a stab in his chest at how many there were because of him. He kissed the tip of Logan’s nose gently, eliciting a single quiet laugh. He kissed Logan’s eyebrows, smiling as they scrunched in confusion underneath his lips. 

\------

Virgil leaned back to re-shift his position. Logan was barely smiling, but for him it went as far as a million watt smile.

“You’re too good for me,” Logan spoke out with a humorless laugh. 

Virgil shook his head. “No, _you’re_ too good for _me_. I'm sorry for leaving.” 

Logan gripped Virgil’s hand tightly. It was like he was holding on for dear life. Virgil could tell that’s what it was as they both leaned forward to kiss each other’s lips for the first time. 

\------

_Kiss-affection, Virgil’s lips. Feeling: Better. Continue action? Yes_

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I just realized I have never written Analogical...and it's been a while since I've indulged myself in Logan Flavored Angst


End file.
